The behaviour of adults and kids gets rebellious and full of resistance when you give them a direct order or a command to perform a certain task. This gets more critical when the person who is giving out the order has no authority. People who follow the orders without any willingness often end up having grudges and even reach to a point of aggression. This results in an incomplete task or completed tasks with many errors. Yet, there are techniques that can help you to diminish resistance and have more chances of people following your orders. These will at the same time will help you have good relationships with your employees. Some of those techniques are as under:
Say, “Please” More Often:
It is very good to use the magic word “Please” quite often. People tend to follow you more if you ask them to do something for you in a polite way. This is exactly the way to treat a kid who follows you because you asked him to get his room tidy by saying “Please”. This works as a command softener and gives the people a sense of control that triggers willingness and compliance to complete a given task. When it comes to persuasion getting them to saying a yes is just as important as preventing them from saying a no.
Reply With “You Are Most Welcome” When Thanked:
When somebody thanks to you, people reply with a welcome. But you can make your response even more energetic. For this, you can add up and say “I know you would do the same for me.”This triggers a state of mutuality between the listener and the one conveying these words. People always end up getting something in return when they get rewarded with something tangible or intangible. This makes the other individual to follow your requirements when you provide them with another request in the future.
Make Sure You Get A Commitment:
It is wise to get a verbal commitment as this has more chances that they will comply with you. People tend to follow when you ask for a verbal commitment from them. If you ask for too much like loads of agreements and paperwork and other type commitments, this will trigger guilt or a sense of doubt. Verbal commitments are more solid and more powerful when made in a public setting. Getting commitments gives a sense of authority to the requester. It also gives them a sense of responsibility needed to complete the task.
Chip Off The Rough Edges By Embedding Your Command:
You can command a person in a way that it stays like a direct command with a soft touch in it. You can do so by embedding your command. These are direct orders with a blend of command softeners as well. You can use these and issue a command and make sure you add a little cushion and add words like “Please” and a group of soft words that add emotions to your order. Stanley Milgram found out that if you asked people to do something, like giving up their seat at a subway, 68% of the time the people followed the request. That’s it, people just simply requested the seat.
Create Your Request With An Assumption That Your Task Is Complete:
It is a good practice to be presumptive. You can tailor your requests in a way that can deliver a sense that the request is already completed. It adds a sense of commitment even if there is no commitment made by you or the person working on your task. Many people will accept an implicit commitment and feel that it is their duty to complete the task assigned to them. If you’ll add a certain urgency factor than you can get sure-shot compliance. You can add certain incentive as well. This incentive will add as more motivation for the one you manned up on the task for future tasks too. Make sure you do not give out rewards too often.
Add Up A Little Surprise Or Wonder:
When in a conversation with your employee it is better to add up a little sense of wonder to increase chances of compliance. People love to brag or talk about things that have their expertise in. Add a sense of wonder and reap the benefits of this capability. If you need help on a certain task, you can ask them in the middle of your conversation in a very systematic way for help. You can ask them by telling them about a project you are having difficulty with. Or there is a project at hand and ask them if they had a previous experience of dealing with the same problem and ways they overcame them. The expert in that particular subject won’t take another moment and would dive-in to show you his skills and mastery. They might even ask you if you have tasks like this showing up and they can help you solving them the next time. This is because you are asking them in a way that can get you a free solution and expert opinion on the problem at hand.
Always keep one thing in mind that it doesn’t matter what you need someone to do, it is the way you ask them for their help that matters. The above-mentioned tips can get you to ask for help and even free and most effective solutions as well. That’s because you are not bounding anyone to work for you by ordering them. You are asking for help in something and make them a stakeholder by putting your trust in them and talking to them in a polite way. This is the key that can make you a successful leader in your life and in your profession as well.
An unethical way to persuasion:
If the other person lacks self esteem you can make them do almost anything. They will say yes to almost any request unless that request is very unreasonable. If you ask them for money they will give it to you. Sounds too good to be true? Well even if they say no you will be surprised when they will give in after a little persistence from your end. Be sure to have a good reason why you’re asking for the money. A good story will help you a lot. So how do you find someone with low self-esteem? That is something you will have to find out on your own.
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